Just a quick update, not much to update on since we're stalled out at contracts for the moment. Apparently we're having some insurance issues and differences of opinion on what the best option will be. So, we're looking into some things and will hopefully be getting this squared away and moving forward soon. I'm thinking it shouldn't take longer than 2 weeks or so to get this figured out and taken care of, but don't quote me on that! I have been wrong a lot lately with time lines... things have been taking a lot longer than I thought they would. Patience, patience, patience... I need some!
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!
About Me
- Alison
- I'm Alison, a thirty-something, married, mother of two girls, with a passion for animals of all kinds. My family adopted our goofy, lovable dog {Charlie} from a local shelter. It breaks my heart to know there are countless animals out there being mistreated {to say the least} and I would love more than anything to help even one animal find a loving forever home. Think adoption first. Find a local animal shelter or animal rescue... don't buy your next pet... rescue him/her!
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Friday, January 27, 2012
Hmmm...contracts
Well, I have to say that this is my least favorite step of the surrogacy process. The legal matters. More specifically, the money and "what-ifs". The contract is typically drawn up by the IP's attorney, then given to the IPs for review. Once any changes are made (if needed), the contract is sent to the surrogate's attorney. The surrogate and attorney read the contracts, then go over them together (in person or by phone) to discuss any questions, concerns or changes the surrogate feels necessary. In our case, my attorney and I received the contract on January 18th, then set up our "phone meeting" to review them for January 20th. My agency went over the contract and sent my attorney a few changes that needed to be made so that it would reflect the agency's policies as well. I went over questions and concerns with my attorney, and she noted changes that needed to be made. Two days later, she sent me the "redline" draft, showing the original contract with any changes she made- so that everyone could review what was different. Once I gave her the go ahead (the same day) she sent it off to my IP's attorney. So, those contracts have made it full circle and are awaiting approval by the IPs and their attorney. Once approved, they can be signed by all parties and we can get the show on the road!
I said earlier that contracts are my least favorite part...well, I'm pretty sure any legal proceedings are not very enjoyable, but when you look at something you are so excited about and that is such a personal and joyful experience, the step where you have yo go over money and "what-ifs" is just not fun. In any pregnancy there can be complications, so the contract has to cover everyone's bases in any situation. It brings up questions of financial responsibility and issues of our own mortality, which is never fun to think about... but it has to be done. I completely understand that these contracts are a very important step in this process and I am glad that we have the lawyers and agency to help guide us through. It all has to be discussed, from every monetary detail to every complication that could arise. Hopefully we won't need much of what is said in the contracts to come into play, but everyone can feel a little more secure knowing that if something does happen, we know what to do.
That being said, let's get these contracts signed so we can move on to the next step... and wait some more. ; )
I said earlier that contracts are my least favorite part...well, I'm pretty sure any legal proceedings are not very enjoyable, but when you look at something you are so excited about and that is such a personal and joyful experience, the step where you have yo go over money and "what-ifs" is just not fun. In any pregnancy there can be complications, so the contract has to cover everyone's bases in any situation. It brings up questions of financial responsibility and issues of our own mortality, which is never fun to think about... but it has to be done. I completely understand that these contracts are a very important step in this process and I am glad that we have the lawyers and agency to help guide us through. It all has to be discussed, from every monetary detail to every complication that could arise. Hopefully we won't need much of what is said in the contracts to come into play, but everyone can feel a little more secure knowing that if something does happen, we know what to do.
That being said, let's get these contracts signed so we can move on to the next step... and wait some more. ; )
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
In-between update
Well, so far I've heard from TFI that they have received my psych eval and everything looks good to move forward (which we pretty much already knew, but it had to be "official"). I also got word from MFSC that the attorney drafting the contract was finished and would be forwarding it to J&T for review. Once they've reviewed and approved it, it will be sent to me for my review. Once all of the legal paperwork is out of the way we can actually get down to baby-making business and get some dates lined up for things to begin. I know... it's not much of an update, but it's something! I think I should have the contract to review by the end of the week.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
It's a match!
In the world of surrogacy everyone begins by looking for a match. Once a surrogate has decided 100% that this is what she wants to do, she starts looking for a wonderful couple who needs her help to fulfill their dream of a baby. On the other side, once a couple has decided that surrogacy is the way they will move forward to complete their family, they begin searching for the woman they will trust to carry their baby. Once the two meet, they just know. And that is when the hurry up and wait really begins!
I have been a surrogate before, I carried twins for a couple who live in New Jersey. The twins were born in June of 2010 and are happy and healthy. After some time went on, I realized that my time as a surrogate was not over, so I began my search for another couple to work with. Some surrogates do this on their own with the help of ads and surrogacy websites, but I prefer to use an agency and so I contacted the wonderful ladies at Modern Family Surrogacy Center and let them know I was ready to start again. I like having the agency because not only are the details laid out from the beginning for everyone, but also because I prefer to leave the business and financial details to them so that the IPs and I don't end up with a business-type relationship. Oh yes, IPs... that brings me to the abbreviations! There are many, many abbreviations used these days on forums, chats, texting, etc- and surrogacy is no exception. It has it's own language when it comes to abbreviating. On the right side of the page, you will find a list of commonly used abbreviations. For those of you new to this, it may take a little while to catch on, but soon these will be part of your vocabulary too!
Where was I? Oh right, the matching phase. Once I contacted MFSC, I filled out a surrogate profile and submitted it along with a few pictures of myself and my family. The profile consists of questions about you, your health, past pregnancies, and why you want to be a surrogate. IPs are able to view and read profiles before they decide they'd like to meet a potential match. Once IPs have selected a potential match, their profile is given to the surrogate so that she can then decide if she is interested in meeting them. If both parties agree, an initial meeting or phone call is scheduled. It's like a first date, in a way. Everyone is nervous and hoping this will be "the one" and that the other person/people will feel the same way. It's a tough decision to make from either side of it, but the advice I always give is to just go with your gut. This time there was no denying that our match was meant to be. I was given J & T's profile on Thursday, November 10th and agreed that they were a potential match for me. We had our initial phone call on Friday, November 11th and it went wonderfully! We both called the ladies at MFSC right away and agreed that we were a match. After that, plans were made to have a face to face meeting ASAP. We couldn't wait to meet each other in person. So, on Tuesday, November 15th we met for dinner and everything came together so nicely... we were ready to move forward!
Now, of course, it can't just be that easy. Once you have a match the screening process begins for the surrogate. J & T are working with a particularly picky doctor, so first my file was sent to his office for review. Check...everything looked great. Next step is a medical evaluation at his office. Mine was completed Tuesday, November 29th and I passed the doctor's standards... whew! The next step we had a little trouble with... but not because I couldn't pass! It was the psychological evaluation, and since I have been a surrogate before, they knew I had previously completed one. TFI thought they could simply request my medical records from the previous clinic and the letter from the psychologist would be included, and that was all they needed. Well, it wasn't in that file, so we requested records from the psychologist directly, but she would not release the records. So, after waiting and waiting, we finally decided to move forward with a new psych eval. Unfortunately, this meant an additional long drive for me, since the clinic (TFI) and the psychologist are about a 2 1/2 hour drive from where I live. Even worse, the traffic ended up being so bad, it took me 3 1/2 hours to get to the appointment! But, I passed my psych eval on Thursday, December 22nd and I am done with screenings. Now we let the attorneys do what they do best and draw up our contracts, then we'll review them and sign! Let the next phase of waiting begin. ; )
I have been a surrogate before, I carried twins for a couple who live in New Jersey. The twins were born in June of 2010 and are happy and healthy. After some time went on, I realized that my time as a surrogate was not over, so I began my search for another couple to work with. Some surrogates do this on their own with the help of ads and surrogacy websites, but I prefer to use an agency and so I contacted the wonderful ladies at Modern Family Surrogacy Center and let them know I was ready to start again. I like having the agency because not only are the details laid out from the beginning for everyone, but also because I prefer to leave the business and financial details to them so that the IPs and I don't end up with a business-type relationship. Oh yes, IPs... that brings me to the abbreviations! There are many, many abbreviations used these days on forums, chats, texting, etc- and surrogacy is no exception. It has it's own language when it comes to abbreviating. On the right side of the page, you will find a list of commonly used abbreviations. For those of you new to this, it may take a little while to catch on, but soon these will be part of your vocabulary too!
Where was I? Oh right, the matching phase. Once I contacted MFSC, I filled out a surrogate profile and submitted it along with a few pictures of myself and my family. The profile consists of questions about you, your health, past pregnancies, and why you want to be a surrogate. IPs are able to view and read profiles before they decide they'd like to meet a potential match. Once IPs have selected a potential match, their profile is given to the surrogate so that she can then decide if she is interested in meeting them. If both parties agree, an initial meeting or phone call is scheduled. It's like a first date, in a way. Everyone is nervous and hoping this will be "the one" and that the other person/people will feel the same way. It's a tough decision to make from either side of it, but the advice I always give is to just go with your gut. This time there was no denying that our match was meant to be. I was given J & T's profile on Thursday, November 10th and agreed that they were a potential match for me. We had our initial phone call on Friday, November 11th and it went wonderfully! We both called the ladies at MFSC right away and agreed that we were a match. After that, plans were made to have a face to face meeting ASAP. We couldn't wait to meet each other in person. So, on Tuesday, November 15th we met for dinner and everything came together so nicely... we were ready to move forward!
Now, of course, it can't just be that easy. Once you have a match the screening process begins for the surrogate. J & T are working with a particularly picky doctor, so first my file was sent to his office for review. Check...everything looked great. Next step is a medical evaluation at his office. Mine was completed Tuesday, November 29th and I passed the doctor's standards... whew! The next step we had a little trouble with... but not because I couldn't pass! It was the psychological evaluation, and since I have been a surrogate before, they knew I had previously completed one. TFI thought they could simply request my medical records from the previous clinic and the letter from the psychologist would be included, and that was all they needed. Well, it wasn't in that file, so we requested records from the psychologist directly, but she would not release the records. So, after waiting and waiting, we finally decided to move forward with a new psych eval. Unfortunately, this meant an additional long drive for me, since the clinic (TFI) and the psychologist are about a 2 1/2 hour drive from where I live. Even worse, the traffic ended up being so bad, it took me 3 1/2 hours to get to the appointment! But, I passed my psych eval on Thursday, December 22nd and I am done with screenings. Now we let the attorneys do what they do best and draw up our contracts, then we'll review them and sign! Let the next phase of waiting begin. ; )
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